We Are Stories
Wednesday 25 November 2015
Friday 6 November 2015
Something a little different for all you red-necks.
Mike Watson and the Hall of the Lesser Fates
By Andrea McDonald
Getting around in Heaven takes a little getting used
to. The Greater Angels can fly of
course. But Lesser Angels, like me,
well, we have to walk. It’s easy
really. I guess. You put your foot out
and the path appears under it. Look back
and there’s just empty sky. But it can
make you a little dizzy.
Running, now that was really scary at first, what with the
speed your feet fly. There’s always that
worry that the mechanics of Heaven just won’t be fast enough to get that path
down before your foot lands, and dropping through space is not my idea of
fun. Especially as it was a failed
parachute that put me here. But I had to learn to run early on. Due to the fact that I was always late. Punctuality was the last lesson I was to
master before coming here, but the last time I died, one of the Angels let me
sneak on up. Figured I’d never get it, and what the hell, being late is not
really a mortal sin, now is it. That’s
what he said, but I think he just had to make his quota.
Anyway, I’m running because I’m due at The Hall of the
Lesser Fates. I’m to monitor the final
hour of a fellow named Mike Watson.
The Lesser Fates is code for The Little Guys. You know, the ordinary people. Not the Ghandis or the Dalai Lamas of the
world; they belong in the Hall of the Greater Fates where the Greater Angels
look out for them. Because their lives
matter to tons of people, and maybe, just maybe, they might have the power to
change the world down there. The Joe
Silvermans, the Mary Dillons and the Ram Ramkumars just don’t rank up there, because
their lives are ordinary. Sure, they
might get their fifteen minutes of fame, but that’s it. And so they get angels like me assigned to
them.
Now, I like Mike. Others
might not, but I do. He was born to be a
skinny dude, with a tiny head full of red-neck ideas, and I’ve got to say, some
of the things his brain comes up with are pretty radical. He dreamed up camouflaged toilet paper. You know, so the stuff that comes out of a
human wouldn’t be as obvious as it is on white toilet paper. Pretty smart.
And he developed a toilet bowl plunger that is shaped like a gun and
fires air with a bang when you pull the trigger. Unblocks those plugged up toilets like the
dickens. And fun. I’ve never seen so many men line up to do the
dirty deed. Or undo the dirty deed, to
be more precise.
But Mike just doesn’t seem to get the lessons we set out for
him this go-round. I mean, his one big
lesson was to learn to think of others before himself. Seems simple.
But so far he hasn’t got it. The
other things, like patience, tolerance- well, we gave up on his getting those a
long time ago. It would be a miracle if
he learned them in his last hour, but hey, I’m an optimist.
I’m here now at the Hall of the Lesser Fates. I pushed aside
the mist. The chairs that floated in the
room were empty. Hmmm. Maybe I’m so late the other angels left. Or maybe no one is coming because Mike is
just not worth the effort. I have to
admit the thought of determining his fate without opposition is kind of
thrilling. We don’t often get to be
headstrong up here. Cooperation is the
name of the game.
But then the mist divided.
Meseo entered. In this realm of
love, he’s the one I love the least, if you get my drift. I swear the powers-that-be
named him Meseo because he’s a total mess-up, but they say otherwise.
He went straight to business. “I hope this won’t take long. I’ve got a hot
new angel waiting for me on Cloud Nine. Who’ve we got?” he asked.
“Fellow named Mike Watson.
I’ve been keeping an eye on him.
Here’s his bio.” I threw the
information to him mentally. Saves time.
“Hmmm.” Meseo said.
“Seems like a loser.”
“Well,” I said, “he’s had some interesting ideas over the
years. He’s not all bad.”
“Shot his dog because it got in his way.”
“To be fair, the dog chased the sheep rather than herding
them.”
“Did he ever try to teach the dog to herd?”
“Well, no. He’s not
very patient.”
“Okay, well he failed that test. I see he was prejudiced, and we manipulated things
so those he couldn’t tolerate became his neighbours. Next door, in fact. How’d that go? Never mind.
I just read your thoughts. He
threatened to kill them if they so much as stepped on his land.”
“Like I said, Mike’s not very tolerant.”
“How many chances did he have to learn his lessons?” Meseo
asked, frowning.
“Let’s see, there was the time his only son came out of the
closet. Hasn’t talked to him since. And his wife became ill and couldn’t manage
to keep the house going anymore.”
“Did he offer to hire help?”
“No, he divorced her.”
“He’s a lost cause.”
“Well, hang on. He
has an hour left. Let’s see what he’s up
to,” I said. “Maybe we can throw
something at him that’ll challenge him.
Maybe he’ll come through after all.”
Meseo and I used our super angel vision to find Mike down
there on earth. “Got him,” I said. Can you see him? He’s in his pickup truck at
the corner of Eldridge Avenue and Main Street.”
“Where’s he heading in such a hurry?”
“Hang on- zeroing in on his thoughts- really excited- going
out to the range to shoot with a couple of buddies.”
Meseo frowned again.
“I’m surprised he has buddies.”
I concentrated- got the picture from his brain. “Antonio Vandez. . . imprisoned for drug
dealing. And ‘Dead Dog Douggie’. . .
local drunk, but harmless enough.”
“He’s really keen,” Meseo said, “judging by the speed he’s
going. Who have we got in the area who’s
reached the end of their time? We can
throw that somebody in his way. He’ll
plough into them. Bammo! Kill two with one stone. Our work will be done and I can get back to
my- pleasures.”
“Hang on, hang on,” I said.
“Surely he deserves one more chance.
He doesn’t know it’s his last chance, so it’ll be a true test.”
“What have you got in mind?”
“His father, Gerald Watson- how old is he now?”
Meseo scanned for the data.
“Seventy six.”
“In poor health?”
“No. Quite healthy in
fact, but we can change that-“
“How long before his term is up?”
“Three years, four weeks, five days and two hundred minutes,
but we can shorten it-“
I felt his vibrations- Gerald Watson’s- and they were pure
and bright. It wouldn’t be fair to
sacrifice him to save his son. He’d done
his best to raise him well. “No,” I
said. “But we can use him anyway.”
“What are you thinking?”
I smiled. “Let’s give
him a heart attack. Does Mike have his
cell-phone with him?”
Meseo concentrated.
“Yeah.”
“Good. Here
goes.” I put my fist to my heart and
squeezed hard while concentrating on Gerald’s energy. I felt it go from strong and white to tight
and a queer shade of burgundy. The man
fell on the sidewalk about four kilometers from his son’s position en route to
the shooting range.
We watched. A crowd
gathered. One man stooped to help.
“Bonus points for that one.
Remind me to advise his angel,” I said.
Another man rummaged in his pocket, but pulling them out
empty, he gazed imploringly around the crowd.
“He’s asking if anyone has aspirin,” Meseo pointed out. “He’s got some from the woman in the blue
suit. He’s telling Gerald to chew them.”
“Good,” I said. “I
wouldn’t want Gerald to die. The Man
Upstairs would hear about it, wouldn’t he
Meseo, and have something to say
about that. You almost cost me my wings.”
“You misjudge me.
Hey, if I was a rat, I wouldn’t be up here, now would I? In fact I’m making
notes of the good deeds…”
I let it go. Heaven
and all that.
“That one-“ I concentrated hard to locate her energy
signature and her assigned name- “Ellen Fraubaum- she’s phoning 911.”
It wasn’t long before the paramedics arrived with their
sirens screaming. They strapped Gerald onto
a gurney and lifted him into the ambulance.
“But, it’s not working,” Meseo said. “No one has asked him for an emergency
contact. No one has called the son.”
I concentrated hard.
I wrote the words In case of
emergency, call my son, Mike Watson @ 725-3611, on a slip of paper and made
it fall out of Gerald’s pocket. No one
noticed.
“Sh-t, I mean, golly,” I said, “help me get someone to
notice. That woman, Ellen Fraubaum,
concentrate on her with me!”
We watched as she turned to leave, then stopped, and looking
down, scooped up the scrap of paper. She
pulled out her cell phone and dialed.
“Whew, that was a close one.”
“Yeah well, I don’t know why I bothered to do that,” Meseo
said. “That Mike character isn’t going
to change. He’s a lost cause.”
Which is another reason why Meseo is the one angel I love
the least. “Come on,” I said, “everybody
deserves another chance.”
Down below us Mike’s phone rang. His radio was thumping out tunes so loud his
windows were shaking and he was singing like a has-been country star. Just before I conspired to shut down the
radio signal, he looked at the phone laying there on the seat. Hung his hands on the wheel and ignored it.
“See? Told you. Lost
cause. Let’s see who can crash into
him.”
“No, wait. He has ten
more minutes.”
I took over the phone signal. Turned up the volume and just let it ring and
ring. Finally Mike swore and took the
call.
“Is this Mike Watson?” Ellen asked.
“Yeah. Who wants to
know?”
“My name is Ellen Fraubaum.
I’m sorry to tell you this, but your father has just had a heart
attack.”
We watched Mike curse and slap the steering wheel. He looked over at his rifle case.
“Mr. Watson? Did you hear what I said? Your father has had a
heart attack. He’s being taken to
Ellesmere Memorial Hospital.”
“Yeah, yeah. I heard
you the first time.” He hung up. Kept driving.
In fact he sped up.
Meseo rolled his eyes.
“Told you. His buddy Antonio is
just as bad. He’s driving to the range
from the opposite direction. I’ll just
make him speed up too. They can meet at
the corner of Main and Eldon. They’ll
take each other out. Boxed and bowed.”
I sighed. I hated to
lose a soul. Worse, I hated to lose to
Meseo. Just because I’m up here doesn’t
make me a saint.
I was about to close the clouds on the scene below when I
got a curious buzz from Mike’s energy flow.
I looked down. He was squealing
the tires of his truck in a U-turn.
Laying rubber down Main Street.
Then I heard his voice through his cell phone.
“Antonio? Yeah.
Look. I can’t make it to the
range today. Yeah. My old man. He’s had a heart attack. I got to go to the hospital. Yeah.
Call Dead Dog for me, will ya?
Let him know. Yeah. Hope so. Thanks man. I’ll call you later and let you know.”
I grinned as Meseo stood up, shrugged, and walked out into
the mist.
Boxed and bowed?
Nah.
Betted and bested.
Wednesday 28 October 2015
Hi gang. Halloween approaches. Time to get creepy.
UNDER THE STAIRS
By Andrea McDonald
A dying fly buzzed futilely against the grimy window pane as
Susan scanned the yard. She wrapped her
arms tightly around her waist, clutching her knobby green cardigan in her
fists, but one hand found its way up to press tightly against her mouth as her
eyes riveted on the spot at the end of the long lane where the school bus would
stop.
A van approached, and braked. She tensed.
A man with a mailbag slung over his shoulder jumped out, pried open the
mailbox, and pushed in a letter. She
didn’t exhale until his van rumbled down the gravel road out of sight. She chewed her lip and waited.
When the school bus stopped and the doors folded open, she
strained to hear if there was laughter as her daughter stepped down and trudged
up the rutted lane toward the house; the trapped fly buzzed too loudly. She
watched Amy, twelve years old, blonde head down and with arms crossed, kick the
dust as she plodded up the hill. Were the kids making fun of her, and the
house?
Susan didn’t call to Amy to ask her to go back and fetch the
letter. She’d face that herself.
The screen door squealed. “Hey,” Amy said, shaking off her jacket.
Susan glanced down at the murky bruises
on both her daughter’s arms where her husband Derrick had grabbed her. They were fading at least. Soon they’d be gone, and she’d never be hurt
again. She pulled her own sweater
tighter.
“How’d it go?” Susan asked, looking away.
“Okay I guess,” Amy muttered. She turned toward the table. Her shoe caught on a scrap of raised linoleum
and she tripped. “I hate this house,” she mumbled, and shivered. “It gives me
the creeps.”
Susan sighed but said nothing, and after peering across the
yard and into the woods, scurried down to the mailbox. As usual, her thoughts turned back to the day-
the day that had led them here to this run-down house: the day Amy’s twin
Amelia was taken. The girls were only
six then. A man had lured them to the
curb with a lame puppy. Amy had sensed
something wrong and run home, but Amelia stayed and was gone when a frantic Amy
returned with her mother.
Amelia was never found, alive or dead. Amy was cut in half without her twin. Susan never forgave herself for not protecting
the girls. Derrick crumbled, but over the years the evil that had befallen his
child, the evil he couldn’t fathom, somehow crept into him. He began to drink, and then his fury
erupted. The pushing, the grabbing, the
slapping started.
The tin flag on the mailbox squeaked as Susan yanked it down. She peered in the dark box, and pulled out a
letter addressed to her. She turned it
over. No return address.
No one knew she and Amy were there. She’d been so careful not to say a word to
anyone. When her widowed and childless sister died of cancer, Susan kept her
death secret from Derrick, and when the small inheritance came, she knew she
had a way to protect Amy. Strangely, she
had spotted the ad in the newspaper that same day. Private sale. House on two acres. Secluded. Furnished.
Owners transferred. Priced to sell.
It was a shell of a house, grayed, with shreds of old paint
hanging like psoriasis flakes on infected skin. It smelled like old
cheese. Dense, dark woods surrounded it and
it was far from town.
It was all she could afford, but more importantly, it was safe. She and Amy packed up a few belongings when
Derrick was out drinking, and left without telling him their whereabouts. She knew it was cruel, but heartache and
stress and fear had scraped away any love she had felt, and she swore she’d
never see her daughter cower under the stairs again.
The letter burned in her hand as she hurried back up the
hill. Once in the kitchen she slit it
open with a knife and began to read.
“Dear Mrs. Wilson,
My name is Mary. My husband and I sold you the house. He made me swear not to say anything to
anybody, but I haven’t slept since we moved out, since before we moved out in
fact, but when I saw that it was just you and your young daughter who would
live in it, all alone, I knew I had to say something.
Susan slumped into a rickety chair. Her stomach twisted.
I’m so sorry, really I
am. But you see, and I’m sure you can
tell by the house, my husband and me, we don’t have much money. We never got insurance or anything like that. And my husband, he’s a good man, but he got
in trouble with the police a few times, and he couldn’t risk the cops coming
around in case they thought he did it.
He might lose his job, or even go to jail, and then where would we be?
Amy was sitting on the stairs, ripping up the linoleum with
her heel. “What is it Mom?” she asked.
“Nothing,” Susan replied.
We weren’t really
transferred. I can’t tell you where he
works. He made me swear. We couldn’t have a real estate fellow sell
the house because he’d ask questions, and we’d have to tell what we found, and
then he’d have to tell anybody wanting to buy the house, and who’d buy it
then? We’d be stuck in that place, and I
couldn’t live there a minute longer. Not
with what we found.
“You’re sweating Mom.
Are you okay?”
“Yes. Yes Amy. There’s
nothing for you to worry about.”
My husband made me
swear not to tell. He said if we didn’t
get enough money out of the house we’d be broke. He doesn’t make much and I can’t work on
account of my knees. So I’m real sorry
but we had to do it. But I never thought
in a million years that someone like you would buy it.
Susan felt a familiar sick dizziness coming over her. It was the feeling she had when the street
was empty and no matter how loudly she yelled her name, Amelia didn’t
answer. It was the same as when Derrick
hit them, swinging and yelling and crying.
The same as all the times she discovered Amy, wide-eyed and staring from
between the treads of the basement stairs.
Utter helplessness. A fly buzzing against the glass.
“It’s about this house, isn’t it Mom? I can feel it.“
Susan ran her hand through the strings of her hair and looked
at her daughter. She saw Amelia there
too. She dropped her head and tried to
read, but her vision was blurring.
God, I hate to tell
you. It’s just so awful. Promise me you won’t sue us or anything. I know we should have gone to the police but
my husband said no. Just get out, he
said. Let someone else deal with it. So
we did. I’m so sorry. Really I am.
We bought the house
private-like, from a man with a crippled dog, because it was cheap and it was
all we could afford. One day a few months ago, when we were trying to put in a
sump pump under the basement stairs, my husband was digging out the dirt floor
and he found- God I hate to tell you- he found a little skull with long blonde
hair. You know that little girl, the
twin, that was abducted some years back? We think it might be her.
“Mom! What’s the matter?! Mom!”
Susan dropped the letter.
She collapsed onto the floor.
Amy stared in horror at her mother’s face and backed silently toward the
basement stairs.
“Amy!” Susan wailed, as she watched her trip and tumble
backwards.
Amy screamed as she thumped and rolled down the steps. Susan
froze, her mouth gaping open. Then, in a frenzy she crawled to the edge of the
basement stairwell and stared down, straining to see into the dim light.
Amy lay still and silent, at rest in the disturbed dirt by
the bottom step.
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